A beautiful insight, thanks Katy. I hadn't looked at things in quite that way before, but of course it makes perfect sense. These are things that go far deeper than we even realise.
You speak things that I have always thought about and kept within my heart. It is heartbreaking to see the modern west destroy this most sacred and beautiful thing called Family, all in the name of a narcissistic idealization of freedom—all of this is an idolatry of individualism. The rest of the world has been influenced by this abhorrent cult, and the Family is now in death everywhere.
Your voice is so important in this world today! Thank you for all your posts. This is not to counter the facts of your post but to say in a broken world God can bring healing. I dated a widower and tbh I was inaugurated as second mom well before he proposed. In fact, the kids knew they were my heart. I deeply respected his dedication and loved him too. Anyway, when he ended the engagement, because I thought we should marry and not cohabitate, I felt as tho I had lost my family, and was told they always asked where I was. Not to say that a biological family has an advantage because of the physicality of things, but there was a psychological and spiritual dimension that was so powerful, their mother had also been sick for the entirety of their lives and he had been consumed by the illness as well, they knew my heart was ready for them. I felt I had lost my own children and they sought other ways to contact me outside of him. It’s by the grace of God I’m here today. I appreciate studies and they have good information and can act as guide posts and there is real life too
I would be interested to hear about the research on the difference between how the children tolerate their parents romantic pursuits after a parent passes away as opposed to jumping on the "new mate, clean slate, life will be great!" bandwagon (as many of our parents did). I cannot help but feel like widows and widowers are more careful and intentional in that area. Trouble is, the culture was romanticizing the blended family in the Brady Bunch era, but Mike and Carol were a widower and a widow.
Adults either didn't know or likely didn't care about what a slap in the face it is to their children to see them recouple and the message that it sends. "Sorry kid, the marriage you were born in was a sham, but now this is the REAL DEAL and we're SO in love!" Ugh.....gag me with a pitchfork! Then there are the sometimes inevitable "OURS" babies born in those subsequent marriages.......
A beautiful insight, thanks Katy. I hadn't looked at things in quite that way before, but of course it makes perfect sense. These are things that go far deeper than we even realise.
You speak things that I have always thought about and kept within my heart. It is heartbreaking to see the modern west destroy this most sacred and beautiful thing called Family, all in the name of a narcissistic idealization of freedom—all of this is an idolatry of individualism. The rest of the world has been influenced by this abhorrent cult, and the Family is now in death everywhere.
Your voice is so important in this world today! Thank you for all your posts. This is not to counter the facts of your post but to say in a broken world God can bring healing. I dated a widower and tbh I was inaugurated as second mom well before he proposed. In fact, the kids knew they were my heart. I deeply respected his dedication and loved him too. Anyway, when he ended the engagement, because I thought we should marry and not cohabitate, I felt as tho I had lost my family, and was told they always asked where I was. Not to say that a biological family has an advantage because of the physicality of things, but there was a psychological and spiritual dimension that was so powerful, their mother had also been sick for the entirety of their lives and he had been consumed by the illness as well, they knew my heart was ready for them. I felt I had lost my own children and they sought other ways to contact me outside of him. It’s by the grace of God I’m here today. I appreciate studies and they have good information and can act as guide posts and there is real life too
I would be interested to hear about the research on the difference between how the children tolerate their parents romantic pursuits after a parent passes away as opposed to jumping on the "new mate, clean slate, life will be great!" bandwagon (as many of our parents did). I cannot help but feel like widows and widowers are more careful and intentional in that area. Trouble is, the culture was romanticizing the blended family in the Brady Bunch era, but Mike and Carol were a widower and a widow.
Adults either didn't know or likely didn't care about what a slap in the face it is to their children to see them recouple and the message that it sends. "Sorry kid, the marriage you were born in was a sham, but now this is the REAL DEAL and we're SO in love!" Ugh.....gag me with a pitchfork! Then there are the sometimes inevitable "OURS" babies born in those subsequent marriages.......