Saving Civilization Part III - Dating for Evaluation, Not Intoxication
When it’s time to move to Dating Level Three, you must be clear about what it is for. Dating is for evaluation, not intoxication. Level Three dating is where couples must get serious. Not just about a wedding, but about forming a successful lifelong marriage. That means daters need to be clear-eyed about two things specifically:
Worldview alignment
Character
Everything else is secondary.
This is Part III of a four-part series on dating from Katy Faust. If you missed Part I and Part II, catch up here:
First: Worldview Alignment
Worldview is like a train ticket. It tells you where you are going. If he holds a ticket to Chicago and she holds a ticket to LA, they cannot build a life together.
Marrying someone with a totally different religion is like holding tickets on two different trains. On the other hand, a shared worldview means you’re more likely to arrive at your destination, and the trip will be far smoother, with less relational jet lag and far fewer arguments about what to pack.
Even if one person appears to have stronger faith (many such cases) the question to ask is this: will this person encourage you to grow together?
Worldview matters because it becomes the operating system of your marriage. It is the framework you will use to answer hundreds of questions over the course of a lifetime together. Questions like: Should we move across the country for a higher salary or stay near family and church? Should we send our children to public school, a Christian school, or homeschool? If one of us or our child faces a serious medical diagnosis, what kind of treatment or intervention will be considered? Will divorce ever be on the table? If so, when? Should one parent step back from work to raise young children, or will both of us pursue full-time careers? When money is tight, do we go the loan route or the rice and bean route? When aging parents need care, who sacrifices time, money, or proximity to provide it?
If husband and wife begin from completely different first principles, every one of those decisions becomes a negotiation. But when they share a worldview, the operating manual is already written. They may still debate the details, but they are working from the same playbook.
Don’t underestimate the importance of worldview alignment if you want your family to go the distance.
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