Absolutely love the practical, gracious and scientifically sound reasoning that you bring to this horrific situation...as well as the foundation of Creative Truth! One additional Biblical reality from Romans 1..."people aren't losing their minds over this." They are expressing depraved minds that are already lost and are being given over to further depravity. I don't say this harshly but truthfully and prayerfully that they will see this truth and turn to a loving God who alone can make things right for them. Thanks as always and God bless in the Love & Lordship of Christ (Mark 12:29-31; 1 Peter 3:15)!
We're hopeful the pushback put the billboards in front of so many more eyes that wouldn't have seen them otherwise. Many folks underestimate the silent majority who do know basic reality, and they just need people taking the lightning rods, standing up, and unapologetically sharing it.
Speaking as a GenXer whose life was impacted by the selfish choices of the adults in my life, it is sad to see what the Boomer and Silent Generations choices have devolved our society into. I can at least point back to a stretch of my life, approximately 8 years, where I had a normal family, a married mom and dad. That stretch of my life gets relatively shorter as I get older. The whole idea of our parents breaking up our families so that they could be "happy" is what opened the door for these alternative families we're seeing today. So many children now never had a chance at a traditional family. I'm now middle aged and having divorced parents, and all the other cast of characters that came along with it, is STILL a gigantic pain in the rear.
I completely agree with everything you said here - I study child's rights, have been a children's and youth worker, and am a Christian. I am morally against surrogacy, IVF, freezing embryos or sperm, etc. I'm against contraception! I think acting on homosexual feelings is a sin. I'm really glad that you're saying the stuff you're saying. But the word choice on your billboard sign just seems entirely and completely inappropriate.
You seem to be ignoring an obvious cultural reality - that the words 'mum/mom' and 'dad' do not, to most people, only refer to biological parents - so that you can justify a deliberately inflammatory word choice on a sign which was ultimately a publicity stunt. Why? Because you knew it would get you more interviews for the cause you believe in? Fair enough, but not an integrous way of doing it. Or, more sinisterly, because it's a good excuse for you to express unloving, homophobic views and get away with it because 'it's not about that'?
Because even with my background working with children, if I saw this ad I would not know that what you've described here - how we've normalised manufacturing brokenness - is the point you were trying to make. I would just think some obnoxious homophobic guy has too much money, to be totally honest. At least for me, this sign absolutely fails to make the point you were trying to make, and instead shows you to be inconsiderate - perhaps even actively hateful - towards other marginalised groups. But surely the best way to stop surrogacy etc, is by convincing the people who pay for it that it's the wrong way forward? Advocate for children TO the LGBTQ community. But they will not listen to you on this crucial point if you pull stunts like this. All you've done is make the people who already agreed with you feel justified in using homophobic language. You aren't 'ruffling feathers' - you're being unkind. This is not the way forward.
Hello Jemima, appreciate your support for our Them Before Us work and that you're aligned with the topics we educate folks on. We also appreciate you sharing your disagreement with the word choice of our billboard so that we can clarify a few things:
------You seem to be ignoring an obvious cultural reality - that the words 'mum/mom' and 'dad' do not, to most people, only refer to biological parents - so that you can justify a deliberately inflammatory word choice on a sign which was ultimately a publicity stunt. ------
We're not sure where your belief that most people don't think "mom and dad" means mom and dad came from. We'd argue that this is such a foundational belief to all humans that everyone actually knows what it means and that we are all supposed to have one of each loving us in our home every day. You are actually identifying a major issue within our culture IF your point was correct. But further claiming that the use of those words themselves was "inflammatory" for a publicity stunt seems like a stretch. Granted, the use of a billboard is, of course, for publicity.
-----Or, more sinisterly, because it's a good excuse for you to express unloving, homophobic views and get away with it because 'it's not about that'?------
Then you took a giant turn into calling our view homophobic. How? You said that seeing the sign, you had no idea it referenced the manufactured brokenness...but how is that possible for someone with your level of education and experience, in addition to just common sense, that a child cannot come into the world with two moms or two dads, and if they're being raised by them, they lost someone essential?
----At least for me, this sign absolutely fails to make the point you were trying to make, and instead shows you to be inconsiderate - perhaps even actively hateful - towards other marginalised groups. -----
Another turn into insults, but again, based on what? What marginalized group? Step-parents? Adoptive families? We had pushback saying that "lots of kids have two dads!" and then they proceed to name every kind of male relative. We didn't say "No child has two male figures who are nice to them," But we can't live in a society when people pretend not to understand obvious meanings and words. No, dad doesn't mean uncle. Uncle means uncle. When a kid is adopted, people say "birth father" or "adoptive father." When a parent remarries, we call the step-parent a step-mother or step-father. When we say "dad" or "mom," there is an assumption of biology, and if that isn't true, you find some sort of modifier to the word, more often than not. Even gay couples have to come up with cutesy words to distinguish between the two individuals. "Do you want daddy or pop pop?" the gay country singer guy teases the baby whimpering for mama.
--- But surely the best way to stop surrogacy etc, is by convincing the people who pay for it that it's the wrong way forward? ---
But why do you think any argument you made above couldn't be used by those wanting to defend surrogacy? "Are you saying we don't deserve a family? There are many ways to make a family. Why should we accept your homophobic view? There are many ways to create children, you're just a bigot against ___."
---Advocate for children TO the LGBTQ community. But they will not listen to you on this crucial point if you pull stunts like this. All you've done is make the people who already agreed with you feel justified in using homophobic language. You aren't 'ruffling feathers' - you're being unkind. This is not the way forward. ---
We simply don't agree that sharing basic truth, yes, even if it's in an eye-catching and pointed rainbow design, is hateful or homophobic. We aren't scared of adult identities or desires. We stand against them without fear because any adult choices, technologies, laws, or policies that violate the rights of children demand that we do so. A just society doesn't need that billboard, but your response shows our work isn't even close to being done.
Completely agreed. Thanks for writing this post, Jemima. TBU's articles (this one included) are almost always carefully crafted and thoughtfully worded. I consistently find them to be great models of speaking the truth in love. But the billboards are the complete opposite. In my opinion they have almost no chance of adequately communicating the message that TBU so boldly and charitably intends to share with people, and will probably have the effect of closing off many people's hearts and minds, rather than opening them up, to the truth and goodness of the kind of message carefully articulated in this article and others like it.
Hey Cameron! I wrote a longer response to Jemima's post that you might be interested in reading, but I wanted to reply to you as well. You are absolutely correct that a billboard isn't going to communicate everything we stand for, but they 100% accomplished a major goal. More people know about Them Before Us now, and a lot of people are emboldened to advocate for a very basic reality on behalf of the rights of children. The same thoughtfulness you see in our posts and studies was on that billboard. It was opening up people to the truth and goodness we try to share. Thanks for your thoughts. - Jenn
Absolutely love the practical, gracious and scientifically sound reasoning that you bring to this horrific situation...as well as the foundation of Creative Truth! One additional Biblical reality from Romans 1..."people aren't losing their minds over this." They are expressing depraved minds that are already lost and are being given over to further depravity. I don't say this harshly but truthfully and prayerfully that they will see this truth and turn to a loving God who alone can make things right for them. Thanks as always and God bless in the Love & Lordship of Christ (Mark 12:29-31; 1 Peter 3:15)!
We're hopeful the pushback put the billboards in front of so many more eyes that wouldn't have seen them otherwise. Many folks underestimate the silent majority who do know basic reality, and they just need people taking the lightning rods, standing up, and unapologetically sharing it.
Speaking as a GenXer whose life was impacted by the selfish choices of the adults in my life, it is sad to see what the Boomer and Silent Generations choices have devolved our society into. I can at least point back to a stretch of my life, approximately 8 years, where I had a normal family, a married mom and dad. That stretch of my life gets relatively shorter as I get older. The whole idea of our parents breaking up our families so that they could be "happy" is what opened the door for these alternative families we're seeing today. So many children now never had a chance at a traditional family. I'm now middle aged and having divorced parents, and all the other cast of characters that came along with it, is STILL a gigantic pain in the rear.
This is absolutely true and thank you for sharing your experience!
I completely agree with everything you said here - I study child's rights, have been a children's and youth worker, and am a Christian. I am morally against surrogacy, IVF, freezing embryos or sperm, etc. I'm against contraception! I think acting on homosexual feelings is a sin. I'm really glad that you're saying the stuff you're saying. But the word choice on your billboard sign just seems entirely and completely inappropriate.
You seem to be ignoring an obvious cultural reality - that the words 'mum/mom' and 'dad' do not, to most people, only refer to biological parents - so that you can justify a deliberately inflammatory word choice on a sign which was ultimately a publicity stunt. Why? Because you knew it would get you more interviews for the cause you believe in? Fair enough, but not an integrous way of doing it. Or, more sinisterly, because it's a good excuse for you to express unloving, homophobic views and get away with it because 'it's not about that'?
Because even with my background working with children, if I saw this ad I would not know that what you've described here - how we've normalised manufacturing brokenness - is the point you were trying to make. I would just think some obnoxious homophobic guy has too much money, to be totally honest. At least for me, this sign absolutely fails to make the point you were trying to make, and instead shows you to be inconsiderate - perhaps even actively hateful - towards other marginalised groups. But surely the best way to stop surrogacy etc, is by convincing the people who pay for it that it's the wrong way forward? Advocate for children TO the LGBTQ community. But they will not listen to you on this crucial point if you pull stunts like this. All you've done is make the people who already agreed with you feel justified in using homophobic language. You aren't 'ruffling feathers' - you're being unkind. This is not the way forward.
Hello Jemima, appreciate your support for our Them Before Us work and that you're aligned with the topics we educate folks on. We also appreciate you sharing your disagreement with the word choice of our billboard so that we can clarify a few things:
------You seem to be ignoring an obvious cultural reality - that the words 'mum/mom' and 'dad' do not, to most people, only refer to biological parents - so that you can justify a deliberately inflammatory word choice on a sign which was ultimately a publicity stunt. ------
We're not sure where your belief that most people don't think "mom and dad" means mom and dad came from. We'd argue that this is such a foundational belief to all humans that everyone actually knows what it means and that we are all supposed to have one of each loving us in our home every day. You are actually identifying a major issue within our culture IF your point was correct. But further claiming that the use of those words themselves was "inflammatory" for a publicity stunt seems like a stretch. Granted, the use of a billboard is, of course, for publicity.
-----Or, more sinisterly, because it's a good excuse for you to express unloving, homophobic views and get away with it because 'it's not about that'?------
Then you took a giant turn into calling our view homophobic. How? You said that seeing the sign, you had no idea it referenced the manufactured brokenness...but how is that possible for someone with your level of education and experience, in addition to just common sense, that a child cannot come into the world with two moms or two dads, and if they're being raised by them, they lost someone essential?
----At least for me, this sign absolutely fails to make the point you were trying to make, and instead shows you to be inconsiderate - perhaps even actively hateful - towards other marginalised groups. -----
Another turn into insults, but again, based on what? What marginalized group? Step-parents? Adoptive families? We had pushback saying that "lots of kids have two dads!" and then they proceed to name every kind of male relative. We didn't say "No child has two male figures who are nice to them," But we can't live in a society when people pretend not to understand obvious meanings and words. No, dad doesn't mean uncle. Uncle means uncle. When a kid is adopted, people say "birth father" or "adoptive father." When a parent remarries, we call the step-parent a step-mother or step-father. When we say "dad" or "mom," there is an assumption of biology, and if that isn't true, you find some sort of modifier to the word, more often than not. Even gay couples have to come up with cutesy words to distinguish between the two individuals. "Do you want daddy or pop pop?" the gay country singer guy teases the baby whimpering for mama.
--- But surely the best way to stop surrogacy etc, is by convincing the people who pay for it that it's the wrong way forward? ---
But why do you think any argument you made above couldn't be used by those wanting to defend surrogacy? "Are you saying we don't deserve a family? There are many ways to make a family. Why should we accept your homophobic view? There are many ways to create children, you're just a bigot against ___."
---Advocate for children TO the LGBTQ community. But they will not listen to you on this crucial point if you pull stunts like this. All you've done is make the people who already agreed with you feel justified in using homophobic language. You aren't 'ruffling feathers' - you're being unkind. This is not the way forward. ---
We simply don't agree that sharing basic truth, yes, even if it's in an eye-catching and pointed rainbow design, is hateful or homophobic. We aren't scared of adult identities or desires. We stand against them without fear because any adult choices, technologies, laws, or policies that violate the rights of children demand that we do so. A just society doesn't need that billboard, but your response shows our work isn't even close to being done.
- Jenn
Completely agreed. Thanks for writing this post, Jemima. TBU's articles (this one included) are almost always carefully crafted and thoughtfully worded. I consistently find them to be great models of speaking the truth in love. But the billboards are the complete opposite. In my opinion they have almost no chance of adequately communicating the message that TBU so boldly and charitably intends to share with people, and will probably have the effect of closing off many people's hearts and minds, rather than opening them up, to the truth and goodness of the kind of message carefully articulated in this article and others like it.
Hey Cameron! I wrote a longer response to Jemima's post that you might be interested in reading, but I wanted to reply to you as well. You are absolutely correct that a billboard isn't going to communicate everything we stand for, but they 100% accomplished a major goal. More people know about Them Before Us now, and a lot of people are emboldened to advocate for a very basic reality on behalf of the rights of children. The same thoughtfulness you see in our posts and studies was on that billboard. It was opening up people to the truth and goodness we try to share. Thanks for your thoughts. - Jenn