Time to Kiss Dating Hello
Resources to fight the dating decline and save civilization
I (Jenn) grew up in the “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” era. We were kissing dating goodbye before we’d ever kissed it hello! The author, Joshua Harris, was pushing back against a culture overly focused on singling out and obsessing on members of the opposite sex, practicing repeated heartbreak and other mistakes for hormonal teenagers. (Harris has also kissed his marriage and his Christian faith goodbye, along with disavowing the book, for what that’s worth.)
Gen X and millennials were only one generation removed from the sexual revolution and the rise of no-fault divorce. Dating gradually detached from marriage. Culture celebrated Sex and the City, where “getting a copy of the apartment key” passed for relational commitment. Marriage no longer felt permanent, especially to the children who watched their families fracture through divorce and quietly vowed never to repeat their parents’ mistakes.
Now we face a different reality: many people aren’t dating or marrying at all.
As you can imagine, not dating and not getting married has serious implications for all of human civilization. Children are still born, they’re just born into instability and ever-changing adult relationships. That instability only loops around onto the next generation.
High school students aren’t dating at the same rates they once did, as Brad Wilcox and the Institute for Family Studies have documented. But Nancy Pearcey looks at the same IFS data and offers a more hopeful interpretation.
We’re in a dating freefall, a marriage desert, a population winter! And Valentine’s Day is just around the corner? Well, have no fear. Our team and trusted friends have gathered thoughtful resources to help you pursue healthy, purposeful relationships with the opposite sex, relationships ordered toward marriage, family stability, and the future of the next generation.
Need Some Data?
Speaking of our friend, Brad Wilcox, he wrote a book called Get Married that addresses much of the data around the institution of marriage. A single person will see the stark reality and importance of marriage, but also be encouraged that the folks who want marriage to work CAN make it work.
Bonus: Our TBU podcast interview with Brad Wilcox on his book when it came out.
Practical Guidance
Administration Director Mary highly recommended Ben Stuart’s podcast Single. Dating. Engaged. Married. “Navigating relationships can feel overwhelming-but it does not have to be. In this podcast, Ben Stuart and friends answer your questions and unpack the four distinct seasons of relational life: singleness, dating, engagement, and marriage. With biblical wisdom, practical insights, and real-life stories, each episode equips listeners to pursue God’s best for their relationships.” And here is the book for those who prefer a visual learning experience.
Clear Warnings
Executive Director Josh Wood wrote two articles giving his take on what men and women should be looking for and cautious about as they seek out a man or woman to marry. “You are about to make the most consequential decision of your life. You are about to entrust your future, your finances, your children—born and unborn—to a woman’s loyalty. This decision will determine whether your home remains intact, whether your children know their father, whether the next 50 years are marked by flourishing or fracture.”
Help With Boundaries
Cloud and Townsend will be familiar names to folks who peruse the personal growth section of the bookstore. Teaching about boundaries in a variety of relationships has been their specialty. Boundaries in Dating will “give you the tools you need to:
Recognize and choose quality over perfection in a dating partner.
Prioritize friendship within your relationship.
Preserve friendships by separating between platonic relationships and romantic interest.
Move past denial to handle real relational problems in a realistic and hopeful way.
Enjoy this season of life.”
Encouragement To Stay With It
And this one has been floating around in my family; a husband read and put this book into practice before meeting his wife! If you’ve been beating your head against the wall, frustrated by the modern dating world, Cloud writes a How to Get A Date Worth Keeping, full of practical wisdom just for you.
We’d love to hear from you. If you’re single and hoping to marry, what resources have helped you, or what have others recommended? If you’d like to connect with like-minded, children’s-rights advocates who are also single, feel free to introduce yourself in the comments. And if you’re happily married, what prepared you to choose your spouse wisely and navigate the inevitable ups and downs of marriage?
Valentine’s Day can feel sentimental, commercial, or even discouraging, whether you’re married or single. But as we consider the broader implications of dating and marriage, we hope you’re encouraged by these resources, by the wisdom shared in the comments, and by the community around you.
Don’t Forget
Have you had a chance to check out our Greater Than campaign? Head over to our website to test your knowledge with the quiz, sign up for campaign-specific updates, and explore our responses to some of the toughest questions about children’s rights.
We’re recruiting TBU Ambassadors! We’ve launched this program to equip passionate advocates to defend children’s rights online. Ambassadors will receive training, materials, swag, and a strong community of like-minded defenders. Our goal is simple: build a network of social-media-savvy voices who can create content, amplify ours, and bring children’s-rights-centered clarity into the comment sections and conversations that shape culture.
Them Before Us is a global movement committed to defending children’s right to their mother and father. We believe that adult desires should never come at the expense of a child’s fundamental needs.
We are not professional lobbyists or political insiders. We are ordinary people with an extraordinary conviction: children must come first in every conversation about marriage, family, and fertility. We exist to make one thing clear: when adults sacrifice for children, society thrives. When children are forced to sacrifice for adults, everyone pays the price.
Find us around the web: Facebook, X, YouTube, Instagram, Podcast, TikTok & Radio.
 | A guest post by
|
This post is filled with resources the next marrying generation needs. I accidentally made some good decisions in dating and choosing my husband of now 42 years. I chose not to have sex with everyone I dated (though many young women were in the late 70s early 80s). I wanted to share that special bond with only my future husband. Having come from a home with married parents who fought often, I noticed how kindly this young man’s married parents (I wouldn’t date those from divorced families) treated each other. They were respectful to one another and I knew that he learned to treat a wife like his father honored and loved his mother. The culture of the family of origin is huge and should be considered when choosing a spouse
This dating series is so needed and I highly recommend it! I am going to share it with my church youth & young adult leaders!!!
I am on my second marriage, mostly because with my first marriage I was not a Christian,didn’t date through high school and didn’t know anything about boundaries or dating purposely with guidelines.
The divorce showed me that I had been a Christian but was confronted by my lack of relational skills and my unawareness that my actions were not lining up with my beliefs. Through counseling and therapy, I received healing. Then, I started learning about boundaries and needing guidelines to date properly to find a date with keeping. The books Boundaries in Dating & How to Find a Date Worth Keeping were instrumental in giving me the stills to find & marry the love of my life, Laura!
God job Katy and Them Before Us!