I don’t know this kind of pain. But I had a parent commit suicide when I was 5 and the surviving parent married someone who didn’t want me in their lives. The rejection is real, even when you know your origins. We live in a fallen world and although faith in God is not disclosed in this post, I do hope this brother and sister know the Lord. I am not trying to have kids and would not use IVF, surrogate or any other unnatural means to conceive. However, I am still trying to grasp the unethical aspects of this (aside from the experiment being unregulated!). Adoption too has trauma associated with it and it’s not always possible to take in a child at an older age. Yet we don’t want any child aborted. It’s all tough. Earthly relationships will never be the best they were designed to be until Jesus returns. In the meantime, keep making the best of the situation.
I generally support what TBU is doing. However I can tell you, as an adoptee, the statement “For one who is donor-conceived or adopted, this need for a parental role model is left unsatisfied” is simply not true for all adoptees.
Thank you for sharing. These are many of the things I have thought about in correlation to done babies as well. I have a biological daughter with my husband. She was so different from both of us, I would never have put my finger on where she came from except that I knew my husbands grandma, they share so much in common that I feel very lucky to have known her. They think the same, talk the same, look the same. It's like her character itself came straight from the old lady. It is so sad to deprive children of their heritage to fulfill our own desires.
Wow! You articulated so well the deep and natural need to know and understand our roots. Many don't understand that nagging feeling inside, but you did and sought answers. I've read that as early as 7 weeks, the fetus begins to develop family characteristics. It all is part of a puzzle that only God can create so perfectly. When we play God out of a selfish desire, we create a consequence that often brings more suffering than happiness. My heart hurts for those children created in ways that aren't part of God's perfect design. Though equally loved and valued by God, they are left with missing pieces of their lives. I'm glad you understand you after having met your father.
How did you end up having donor- conceived friends? I’m almost 69 and I’ve never met a person who was conceived by a donor. I took care of a lot of children conceived by IVF when I was a nurse. I find it so interesting and comforting that you were able to find and nurture friendships that way.
Excellent points. I might add that adoption has a massive protective infrastructure of vetting the prospective parents, as opposed to the wild West of IVF.
Also I may be missing something, but I don't believe there were any arguments from the perspective of the child's right to be conceived from the marital embrace, in the friends of the court documents for Obergefell. Perhaps this leaves a window open for overturn. Beware however of people who would try to do a Dobbs states rights fumble.
I don’t know this kind of pain. But I had a parent commit suicide when I was 5 and the surviving parent married someone who didn’t want me in their lives. The rejection is real, even when you know your origins. We live in a fallen world and although faith in God is not disclosed in this post, I do hope this brother and sister know the Lord. I am not trying to have kids and would not use IVF, surrogate or any other unnatural means to conceive. However, I am still trying to grasp the unethical aspects of this (aside from the experiment being unregulated!). Adoption too has trauma associated with it and it’s not always possible to take in a child at an older age. Yet we don’t want any child aborted. It’s all tough. Earthly relationships will never be the best they were designed to be until Jesus returns. In the meantime, keep making the best of the situation.
- Tiffany B.
Thanks for telling your story; it's so important such as these be shared.
I generally support what TBU is doing. However I can tell you, as an adoptee, the statement “For one who is donor-conceived or adopted, this need for a parental role model is left unsatisfied” is simply not true for all adoptees.
Thank you for sharing. These are many of the things I have thought about in correlation to done babies as well. I have a biological daughter with my husband. She was so different from both of us, I would never have put my finger on where she came from except that I knew my husbands grandma, they share so much in common that I feel very lucky to have known her. They think the same, talk the same, look the same. It's like her character itself came straight from the old lady. It is so sad to deprive children of their heritage to fulfill our own desires.
Wow! You articulated so well the deep and natural need to know and understand our roots. Many don't understand that nagging feeling inside, but you did and sought answers. I've read that as early as 7 weeks, the fetus begins to develop family characteristics. It all is part of a puzzle that only God can create so perfectly. When we play God out of a selfish desire, we create a consequence that often brings more suffering than happiness. My heart hurts for those children created in ways that aren't part of God's perfect design. Though equally loved and valued by God, they are left with missing pieces of their lives. I'm glad you understand you after having met your father.
How did you end up having donor- conceived friends? I’m almost 69 and I’ve never met a person who was conceived by a donor. I took care of a lot of children conceived by IVF when I was a nurse. I find it so interesting and comforting that you were able to find and nurture friendships that way.
Excellent points. I might add that adoption has a massive protective infrastructure of vetting the prospective parents, as opposed to the wild West of IVF.
Also I may be missing something, but I don't believe there were any arguments from the perspective of the child's right to be conceived from the marital embrace, in the friends of the court documents for Obergefell. Perhaps this leaves a window open for overturn. Beware however of people who would try to do a Dobbs states rights fumble.